Why I Still Celebrate Christmas (Originally posted Dec. 2009)

I originally posted this last year, but I thought it was timely given the holiday season which always brings up questions of this sort:

I know many atheists who no longer celebrate Christmas because of its religious origins. Some, instead, celebrate Winter Solstice or some other psuedo-pagan nonsense. Me? I celebrate a couple days off of work and an excuse to give and recieve gifts from my loved ones the same way I always have. There's a tree with ornaments and lights. There is garland and wreaths and images of Santa Claus and elves and reindeer. I fight the crowds at the malls and toy stores in order to pack presents under the tree and give that annual boost to the economy. No where present is the tortured effigy of Jesus. No where is there any mention of the bible or Christianity. And there never has been. I can go in and out of malls, stores, businesses, and homes all day long and did I not already know that Christmas was supposed to be about the birth of Christ I would find few reminders. This has never been a religious holiday for me. It has always been about giving and receiving presents. The spirit of giving? Maybe? Rampant consumerism and greed? Definitely. And I, like you, am a consumer. Christmas is the ultimate celebration of consumerism. It is a capitalist holiday.

They celebrate Christmas in the least religious countries in the world because it is fun and a great boost for economies. You see Christmas trees in Tokyo and Hong Kong. That doesn't make them Christians. I have heard Christians even attempt to make the argument, as ridiculous as it is, that celebrating Christmas somehow implies that you still believe deep down as does screaming out "Jesus Christ!" when you're angry or "Oh God!" when you're about to bust a nut. I do both of those by the way. I don't feel I need to change the time honored tradition of using the Christian god's name in vain at moments of ecstasy or exasperation just because the guy is a myth. It's not a prayer. It's an exclamation, an expletive. If I yell out "Holy Shit!" that does not somehow imply a belief in the sanctity of excrement. And sticking a star on top of a Chrsitmas tree does not imply that I believe three wise men followed a star to where a virgin had been raped by a diety and had given birth to that diety's bastard child.

I celebrate Easter too. I buy the baskets and fill them with eggs and candy for my kids. I buy them new Easter clothes and guess what? There's no mention of Christ. There's nothing hardly anywhere to suggest that Easter was about anything but chocolate bunnies and colored eggs. Coloring eggs and biting the ears off of marshmallow peeps does not imply a belief that Christ rose from the grave anymore than it implies a belief that a large intelligent bunny runs all over the world filling baskets with eggs and candy. It too is a consumer holiday, another chance for retailers to sell us things in quantities we would not normally buy. Like beer on St. Patty's Day. I ain't Irish either.

So, I don't feel compelled to renounce all things even remotely tainted by religion. I don't even feel the need to co-opt these holidays and pervert them in some way. Capitalism has already done that. I just reap the benefits and have fun playing Santa.

Sex & Atheism

I read a study a few years ago that concluded that college educated people tended to be more sexually adventurous than non-college educated people. It quoted statistics such as the likelihood to have engaged in oral sex, anal sex, bondage, homosexual activities, S&M, role-playing, threesomes, and group sex, all of which were apparently greater among the college educated. (I can't seem to locate the article now so if anyone stumbles across it please provide me a link.) The study cited influences such as exposure to different types of people, an atmosphere that encourages intellectual and creative freedom and curiosity, and removal from the environments they grew up in and therefore the traditional and cultural restraints that may have existed in those neighborhoods and communities, as possible reasons for this difference. This of course got me to wondering. Are atheists more sexually adventurous? It would certainly make sense. Since most sexual taboos are religious taboos the absence of religion should lead to greater sexual freedom, but has it? What do you think? Are atheists more likely to have engaged in oral sex, anal sex, bondage, homosexual activities, S&M, role-playing, threesomes, and group sex? Or have we shrugged off the trappings of religion while retaining the same puritanical religion-based sexual hang-ups?

I am probably the most open-minded individual I know when it comes to sex. If there's a sex act that I won't do its probably because it doesn't feel good, doesn't taste good, hurts, takes too much planning and preparation, is too difficult, requires too much flexibility, or is illegal. If it feels good and can be done with relative ease, I'll probably give it a shot. I have dated both the pious and the irreligious and I can say that I have definitely noticed a tendency among professed Christians to be more sexually inhibited initially than those who profess no faith and certainly among those who are admitted atheists. That does seem to melt away rather quickly in most cases. The big difference I have seen is in regards to guilt.

Given the means, motive, and opportunity, most people will satisfy their sexual urges in whatever ways provide the most pleasure. What is sad, is that many will punish themselves with needless guilt for it. I don't get that. As a society, we are fond of saying that "Whatever transpires between two consenting adults is okay" however we do not really behave that way. There would not be such a stigma placed on homosexual relationships if this was really how most Americans thought. There would not be such harsh judgement on polyamorous people and relationships. Monogamous, post-marital (or at least after falling deeply in love), heterosexual sex is still held up as the only ethical sexual encounter by the pious and the heathen alike. All else is something dirty that we should feel guilty about. Why?

Even among the non-religious I have noticed some of this latent guilt and these irrational inhibitions. Again I ask, why? This is 2010 yet these Victorian era sexual ideas still persist. Our natural desires are still demonized. It is still demanded that we repress and hide our desires. We still masturbate in darkened corners, hiding our desires from the very people who should be sharing them with us. At a time when every conceivable fetish is available for easy viewing on the Internet and eagerly consumed by the masses, they are just as widely condemned and those who partake of them are made to feel like pariahs and outcasts when, rest assured, they are the majority. Pornography is a multi-billion-dollar industry for a reason.

Well, forgive me if I want something better. Forgive me if I don't always want to make love. Forgive me if I like to fuck. Forgive me if I don't stick to the missionary position. Forgive me if I like to get messy. On second thought, don't forgive me, put down your bibles, drop your antiquated morals, and join me. If you don't believe in the bible anymore let the rest of it go with it. Be the animal you were meant to be in the bedroom and leave the guilt to the Catholics and other Christians. And if you need some help unleashing the beast then pick up a couple of my books.